pinch⋅beck

pinch·beck (pĭnch'běk')
–noun

1. a cheap imitation

2.	something sham, spurious, or counterfeit.

–adjective

3.	made of pinchbeck.

4. try again, idiot.

turkey bacon. you are dumb. you are such a farce. you are not even real bacon, and don't deserve to bear the name upon your existence. if i bit into you thinking that i was about to enjoy a REAL slice of REAL bacon, i would be disgusted and spit you out. then i would smash you under my dirt laden shoes until you were unrecognizable as a cheap imitation of what is real bacon.

turkey bacon, you are the most pinchbeck thing on the planet earth. and i really hate you.